Dead autumn

I buried myself beneath the dead leaves of autumn,
Laid me to rest in the cold dirt,
I let myself die in pain,
Only to re-emerge unhurt.

A blank canvas once again,
With no past and no name.
A soaring ghost without a shred of content,
only agony and only with sadness to gain.

I buried my hope in the wet autumn ground,
My phone is off the hook,
I’m not coming around.
I am six feet under and nowhere to be found.

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I see God in you

I see God in you,

I see Him in your eyes.

You’re a heavenly creature,

an angel in disguise.

I see God in you,

He put a piece of Him inside your heart,

He pulls you together when you fall apart.

I see God in you,

His beauty fiercely shining through,

Except Him into your arms,

and He will always be right next to you.

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Some days you just feel God’s prescence in your heart. 

 

 

Crosses

We are born,

we take on our path,

each and every one with a cross on their back.

Some heavier,

some easier to bear,

some wooden, some gold plated,

the latter being very rare.

We carry them to work, to home and back again,

while we laugh or cry,

it’s always there.

We go to sleep, lay it aside,

wake up again, wear it with pride.

 

 

 

Satan’s Cellar Dweller

Every day scrambling for something good in me,

But there’s evil in every cell,

It gets the best of me.

And every night I go to sleep,

I pray to Jesus on the crucifix,

Fall asleep with good intentions,

wake up as the best friend of Lucifer.

Dwelling in my cellar,

angels try to break through,

I know evil is the strongest force,

but maybe there’s something good, too.

Here he is, the fallen angel, knocking at my door again,

I try to fight but once more I let him win.

It’s ten minutes to three, I’m sharpening my knives,

Homicidal ideation, I might be taking lives tonight.

I walk these empty streets alone,

Looking for an easy prey,

Someone is about meet their death…

on Lord’s day.

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Bored

So bored and out of it,
Staring at the stale, dry cracks in the wall,
A cockroach leans in for a kiss with the dirty dish.
It’s been a while…
Look at the nightfall,
I’ve been waiting to put this cigarette to my lips,
Inhale…
Make a wish.
Smoke caressing the lungs like a gun gently brushing against the temple,
It smells like death, if the smokes are going to kill me, let them.
It’s been too long,
Already twenty-five out of seventy,
and the thought of leaving this hell seems heavenly.
I have nothing to offer,
just my worn out shell.
Like a bride rejected and left at the altar.
If I go unnoticed, I won’t have to tell.
But for now, let the bones decay,
I’ll be here in the clouds of smoke,
Waiting so patiently,
when twenty-five becomes seventy,
and my life is erased from the first, to the last day.

Camatose

Yet again,
these pits of hell,
grip me tightly ’round my neck,
it’s a love song, it’s a spell,
feel this pain spread in my chest.
I slip into my comatose,
heavy, medicated sleep,
a thousand needles, head to toe,
as the night grows dark and deep.
There’s no escape and no salvation
from this illness I possess,
It’s a cage and I’m a beast,
held in captive and possessed.

Strawberry Mark

My scars light up on fire,

every time I reminiscence,

of the abyss, I was held captive in.

the mirrors are my liars,

they told me I would never come to win.

The walls are my only,

the listeners in the dark,

of my sighs and my prayers – holy,

as I begin to remember your strawberry marks.

I’m a prisoner of my universe,

of this glass wall, I have made,

of my soul that is wounded,

of my body – decayed.

Today

Today,
I have become what I hate.
The monster gripping around my neck
and shoving me around.
I have become what had despised,
now I am the one,
pushing others to the ground.
Never thought and never knew,
this is what I would come to,
ashamed and guilty to the core.
Ashamed and guity every minute,
I never wanted to admit it,
but now,
I am what I had been afraid of.