With each and every year I become more and more reclusive.
My dissatisfaction with people and the outside world grows stronger.
I always hated people, since an early age I’ve always had this contempt towards humans, something in me always protested against them. With time, as I came across multiple negative experiences with people in friendships and relationships, I realized even more that I was right, humans are just not right for me.
All my life I felt disconnected from people, I felt like I was a different breed. My interests, my views and everything else made me out of place with the others. Misunderstood constantly, looked down on, etc.
Over years I grew more and more disappointed with my fellow humans. So called friends stole from me, made fun of me behind my back, used me and all of that was just when I was a kid. Then school came around where I was constantly mocked, etc.
Later I was betrayed as a grown up, cheated on, used, abused. And now, I am this. I recluse. I trust absolutely no one. I cut my circle of the people I talk to to 2-3 people. And even with those, I communicate very rarely.
After everything, I can honestly say that I have absolutely no empathy towards people, I dislike them and want nothing to do with them and I’m quite comfortable with that.
Yes, I know there are good people out there, but only select few. To me, the majority of people are bad, selfish, greedy, liars, etc. I learned that the hard way.
I know human nature, and human nature is inherently evil.
If it was up to me, I would ditch everything and go live at a cottage house in the middle of nowhere, grow my own food and all that good stuff. Buuut, since my life is what it is, all of my jobs that I had and the one I am starting now requires communicating with people. But since this job will be mostly just giving out keys to people who go to the gym and swiping their cards, I think I’ll manage to keep the communication as minimal as possible.
Yes, yes, there is enough evil in the world and enough bad people, we need more empathy and kindness, well, you’re not getting it from me.